Why Eating Disorder Treatment Hasn’t Worked for You (Yet)
Why Eating Disorder Treatment Hasn’t Worked for You (Yet): A Trauma-Informed Lens
You’ve gone to therapy. Actually, you’ve gone a few times. You’ve tried therapy in person therapy for eating disorders, you’ve tried online therapy for eating disorders. You’ve found a therapist for trauma, a therapist for body image, a therapist for codependency. Maybe you’ve even been to eating disorder treatment or trauma treatment… maybe you’ve even been a few times.
I get it. I know the feelings well—the shame, the helplessness, the self-doubt… the self-blame. The things you tell yourself.
“Maybe I’m just not one of those people that ‘recovers.’”
“Why does it feel like I’m failing at this.”
“What is wrong with me??”
Guess what.
It’s not you.
Here’s what I want you to know, first: It’s not because you’re not trying hard enough. It’s not because you’re broken or “treatment resistant.” It’s because your treatment was not built for the full complexity of your story.
I bet you’ve “challenged the thoughts” before. I bet you’ve used your “willing hands” or “radically accepted” the situations. I bet you’ve been told, “You just need to do the things you enjoy again!” or “Just go socialize!”
And I bet you’ve been left thinking—
“Why do I STILL feel this way if logically I know I shouldn’t?”
“Why is it STILL so intense?”
“Why do I STILL feel like no one really gets me?”
“Why does this STILL feel awful?”
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and a place for all of those skills. But I find my clients are left feeling more invalidated, misunderstood, and lonely than they’ve felt helped or seen.
And therein lies the problem.
For many people, eating disorders aren’t just about food, weight, or control. They’re coping strategies—sometimes the only way you learned to feel safe, soothe, or protect yourself in an unpredictable world.
But if your treatment focused only on food behaviors, meal plans, or symptom management without understanding what those behaviors were doing for you emotionally and neurologically…
…it might have felt like someone tried to take away your lifeline without giving you anything to hold onto.
If some of these apply to your history:
✅ Growing up in a chaotic or unpredictable household
✅ Growing up in a family that “looked good” on the outside, but was far from it on the inside
✅ One parent who was emotionally immature/abusive and another parent that failed to protect you
✅ Having your emotions and feelings minimized or mocked
✅ Feeling emotionally neglected, abandoned, invisible, or “too much”
✅ Being responsible for other people’s emotions from a young age
✅ Chronic people-pleasing or walking on eggshells
✅ Being told or feeling like you’re “overreacting” or “too sensitive”
…it’s very likely you’re carrying complex trauma—even if you’ve never thought of it as trauma.
Learn more about Complex Trauma/Complex PTSD and how we treat it on our trauma therapy page.
Why standard eating disorder therapy sometimes misses the mark.
Most eating disorder treatment models were designed for overt, acute eating disorders—think young, white, cisgender women with visible restriction or purging, often with clear triggers like dieting or body image.
But when your eating disorder is tangled up with attachment wounds, chronic invalidation, emotional neglect, or developmental trauma, standard approaches can feel:
❌ Oversimplified
❌ Surface-level
❌ Invalidating (“Just follow the meal plan.” “Your body isn’t the enemy.”)
❌ Unsafe (especially if they pressure you into exposure without addressing what is going on that’s causing it!)
It’s not that those treatments are bad—they just weren’t designed with your specific layers in mind.
Trauma changes the nervous system. It rewires safety, trust, and connection. It shapes how you relate to food, your body, and other people. If treatment doesn’t address that… it’s like trying to fix a foundation by repainting the walls.
Want to see what clients have had to say about our work together?
A trauma-informed therapist asks different questions:
If you’ve felt like you’re “failing treatment,” a trauma-informed approach would ask:
What did your eating disorder need to protect you from?
What happens in your body when you try to let go of food rules?
What feels unsafe—not just about eating, but about being seen, nurtured, or cared for?
How did your relationship with food and your body help you survive things no one else saw?
It understands that sometimes…
Eating feels safer than feeling.
Restriction feels safer than needing.
Numbing feels safer than longing.
A trauma-informed lens doesn’t rush you past your defenses. It helps you build trust with them—and with yourself.
What does trauma-informed eating disorder treatment look like?
It might look slower, gentler, more relational. It’s not about throwing out nutritional support or food exposure—but about making space for:
Understanding your protective parts (why you restrict, binge, purge, overexercise—not just what to stop)
Validating survival strategies while proving to yourself that you can have safer ones now
Therapy sessions that sometimes are less about words and more about creativity (sand-tray, timeline, letter writing, creative expression)
Holding space for the emotions rather than challenging the thoughts
Leaning into and showing up for the version of you who never got what they needed
It honors that your behaviors might have been the best solution you had at the time—and they don’t have to be the only options now.
Get to know Dr. Kait and why she’s so passionate about treating eating disorders and Complex PTSD.
You’re not failing treatment. Treatment may have failed to see all of you.
Get the help you deserve - book virtual therapy for eating disorders with Bloom today!
If you’ve felt misunderstood or misdiagnosed, reach out today for a free consultation. Bloom may be right for you! Learn more about our options for help.
