“I Feel Fat.” How to Improve Your Body Image from an Orlando Eating Disorder Therapist & Body Image Specialist
The Real Reasons We Struggle With Body Image and
What You Can Do About It
In a world that markets “self-improvement” like the newest iPhone, focusing on anything other than “what should I change about myself next?” can feel.. challenging. If you are already struggling with low self-esteem, the allure of a “glow-up” can feel exciting – addictive even. Living in this body feels intolerable and I need to change.
So, what gets us to the point of “I hate my body?” Great question.
How Constant Comparison Fuels Self-Hate
“I just want to be skinny so badly.”
Let’s take a look at the typical person’s social media use. Globally, on average, each person spends two and a half hours a DAY scrolling platforms like TikTok and Instagram. The amount of time spent looking at each reel?
3 seconds. That is a LOT of visual stimuli bombarding us at rapid fire and we have to be honest – what we’re seeing? It isn’t exactly a healthy or equal representation of different body types. Rather than getting an accurate perspective of the beauty in all of our differences, we’re bombarded over and over with one picture – “fit” and skinny.
So I’ll ask, how does it make you feel?
2. How Trauma Impacts Our Self-Esteem
Pairing a Felt State with a Physical Trait
There are just some experiences in life that leave us feeling terrible. Humiliated, disgusted, ashamed, anxious, hopeless. Emotions so strong that all we want to do is escape. This is especially true in traumatic events or in survivors of abuse. When you feel trapped inside yourself, sometimes the only way to “leave” is for your mind to separate itself from your body. During these overwhelming experiences, our minds begin to associate our bodies with the problem. Instead of feeling helpless - like “this is unbearable” – we find something we can fix – shifting into “that is unbearable – let’s change that.” By pointing fingers at our bodies, they become objects that are humiliating, disgusting, shameful, anxiety provoking, etc. The further we can distance ourselves from them – the further we can “escape” those emotions.
3. Rejection and Loneliness Make Us Think
“How Do I Make People Like Me?”
If we feel lonely, rejected, or struggle with low self-esteem, it’s only natural to think – what can I do to make people like me? What can I do to be more popular? Often at the top of that list is appearance. Whether it’s changing your wardrobe, losing weight, getting “fit,” or trying new make-up regimes, the common denominator is the same – change your body.
4. A Fixation on Appearance
In Western culture, appearance and beauty are high up there on the list of values. We are surrounded by ads for Botox, anti-aging, “how to lose 20 lbs in a month,” and it is difficult to not get sucked into that messaging. Our family members and friends are not immune to this. It’s all too common that a family member or loved one themselves will be hyper-focused on their appearance and make comments that unintentionally reinforce how important looks are to them. Regardless of if they are positive or negative – frequent comments about appearance hammer home just how high up on the list of priorities it needs to be for us.
5. Bullying & Childhood Criticism
Whether it’s being called fat, made fun of for acne, or something seemingly benign as being encouraged to lose weight from your family doctor – these messages stick. From the ages of 6 – 18, youth are amidst developmental stages that ask two questions - what can I feel proud of myself for and who am I? When the world tells them who they are, they listen, and if it involves their body – it gets channeled directly into that. “I am – fat.” “I am – ugly.”
How Do I Improve My Body Image?
1. How To Stop Constantly Comparing Yourself
Reboot
It’s time to reboot and reprogram your social media. You can reprogram your algorithm or better yet – get off of it all together! See below for how to reprogram your algorithm. In the meantime, make sure to follow body positive accounts or influencers who post about dream vacations, your hobbies, making new recipes, you name it!
Replace the Habit
When we are bored or have a desire to disconnect, we turn to social media – a very strong habit we have formed. What do we know about changing habits? If we want to change a habit, we need to replace it with something else. Every time you want to scroll, pick one specific thing to do instead. Pick up a new book, choose a new app to use, learn new vocabulary words, learn a new language, or even call a friend!
Reprogram Your Social Media Algorithms
TikTok – How to Reset What You See
1. Clear your history
Go to your profile, open the menu, choose Settings and Privacy, then Activity Center, Watch History, and clear it. Also clear your search history.
2. Use “Not interested”
When a video makes you feel bad or shows content you don’t want, press and hold on it and select “Not Interested.” Do this often for a few days so TikTok learns what not to show you.
3. Like what you want more of what you want to see.
Actively like and comment on videos you enjoy or that feel good to watch. Scroll past anything that feels negative or stressful without watching it.
4. Filter keywords
Go to Settings, choose Content Preferences, and add words or topics you want to avoid (for example “what I eat in a day” or “body check”).
5. Optional hard reset
If your feed still feels bad, delete and reinstall TikTok. When you start again, only like and search for content that feels healthy or uplifting.
Instagram – How to Reset What You See
1. Clear your search and Explore history
Go to your profile, open the menu, tap Your Activity, then Recent Searches, and clear them. On the Explore page, tap the three dots on posts you don’t like and choose “Not Interested”
2. Unfollow or mute accounts
Unfollow accounts that make you feel worse, or mute them if you want to stay connected but not see their posts.
3. Engage with the right content
Like and save posts that make you feel calm, supported, or inspired. This teaches Instagram what to show you.
4. If your feed doesn’t change, clear the app’s cache (in phone storage settings) or temporarily deactivate your account to give yourself a clean start.
2. How to Heal Body Image that Stems from Trauma
When your brain has paired shame, fear, or disgust with your physical body, the goal isn’t to force yourself into “loving your body.” Trauma recovery requires rebuilding safety, not positivity.
Reconnect Slowly
Choose one neutral or pleasant bodily sensation per day to tune into:
warm mug in your hands
feet on the floor
soft blanket
water hitting your back in the shower
Your nervous system learns safety through tiny, repeated cues, not grand gestures.
Separate Your Body from Your Emotions
When you notice body-hate thoughts (e.g., “I hate my stomach”), pause and ask:
“What emotion am I feeling right now?”
“Where else have I felt this?”
“Is this actually about my body or about a feeling that’s too big?”
Often, the “problem” isn’t your stomach — it’s shame, loneliness, anxiety, or a sense of failure that your brain has learned to relocate into the body.
Name It to Break It
Write two columns:
Column A: the body part you’re hating
Column B: the emotion underneath
This trains your brain to attach the emotion back where it belongs.
Offer Your Body A Repair Reflection
Counter the internalized shame with a trauma-informed self-statement like:
“My body didn’t cause the pain I went through.”
“My body survived what happened.”
“I don’t have to love this part yet — just not punish it.”
3. How to Start Loving Yourself and Stop Caring About What Others Think
When loneliness or low self-esteem makes you think changing your body will make you more likable, pause. The real need is connection, not perfection.
Shift from Impressing to Belonging
Ask yourself:
“Am I trying to be admired or understood?”
“What kind of connection do I actually crave?”
“Who in my life makes me feel safe without changing my appearance?”
This disrupts the automatic belief that thinner = more lovable.
Build An Identity Outside of Appearance
Make a list of things you value about yourself that have nothing to do with your body:
humor
creativity
compassion
intelligence
leadership
passion
This helps widen the self-concept that may have shrunk to “How do I look?”
Create Opportunities for Genuine Connection
Send a text, join a hobby group, play a game, go somewhere cozy, or invite someone into your world in a low-stakes way. Your body doesn’t create connection — shared experience does.
4. How to Stop Fixating On How Your Appearance
If you grew up hearing comments about appearance or you’re surrounded by people who prioritize looks, you’ve been conditioned — literally trained — to believe your body is one of your most important qualities.
Detach Self-Worth from Body Image
Practice saying phrases like:
“Bodies change — that’s normal.”
“My worth does not rise or fall with my weight.”
“I’m allowed to take up space in any body.”
You’re rewiring decades of messaging each time you do this. Important reminder - this won’t work the first few times you do it! You likely have over a decade of experience telling yourself the opposite - this takes time and practice.
Redirect Apperance-Focused Messages
If a friend or family member constantly makes body comments, try:
“How does it make you feel when you say those things about yourself?”
“Tell me something good that happened today.”
“When people reflect on the reasons they love you most – looks are not on the
list.”
You’re not rejecting them — you’re shifting the value system.
Notice the Intent of What You’re Watching
Every ad, influencer, or video is sending a message about body value.
Ask:
“Does this ad, influencer, or video benefit from me feeling insecure?”
“Is this supporting the version of me I want to be or the version they benefit from me being?”
“Is this making me feel more at peace or more insecure?”
Curate your environment the same way you curate your home — intentionally.
5. How to Stop the Bullying in Your Head
If body hatred started young, the narrative likely wasn’t yours to begin with. Someone handed you a painful story - and you kept carrying it.
Identify Whose Voice it is
Ask yourself:
“Whose words are these?”
“Who first made me feel this way about my body?”
“Do I still believe them or am I just repeating them?”
Naming the source is the first step in releasing it.
Reparent the Younger You
When shame shows up, respond the way a supportive caregiver should have:
“You never deserved to be spoken to like that.”
“You were always enough.”
“Your body wasn’t the problem — their beliefs were.”
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between internal and external comfort. It registers these statements as real healing.
Rewrite the Story in Present Time
Try:
writing the child version of you a letter
choosing one memory where you internalized shame and reframing it
imagining standing next to your younger self and saying, “I’ve got you now”
This interrupts the “I am ___” identity statements formed in childhood.
Body Image Therapy & Eating Disorder Therapy in Orlando, Florida
with a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist
If you feel like you’re always ripping yourself apart and just can’t take it anymore, you do not have to work through it alone. At Bloom Psychological, we offer trauma-informed therapy for Body Image and Eating Disorders nationwide, across Florida, and specifically serve the Orlando area.. Whether your body image struggles are rooted in comparison, childhood criticism, abuse, or years of survival mode, we will help you rebuild safety in your body and relationship with yourself. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation and take your next step toward feeling more at home in your own skin.
Let us help you find your glow.
Take the First Step Toward Recovery Today
Other Therapy Services at Bloom Psychological
At Bloom Psychological, we know that trauma can impact every part of life, far beyond food or body image. That’s why, in addition to Therapy for Complex Trauma and Therapy for Eating Disorders, we offer specialized support for individuals navigating a wide range of emotional challenges.
Our trauma and complex PTSD therapy helps you safely explore painful past experiences, rebuild trust in yourself, and create a foundation for deep, lasting healing. We also offer eating disorder therapy and support, and individualized support for UCF students facing stress, identity questions, and mental health concerns in the midst of a pivotal life chapter.
Wherever you are in your healing journey, Bloom Psychological offers a compassionate, trauma-informed space to be seen, heard, and supported.
About the Author
Though I now call Orlando, Florida home, my Jersey roots still shape who I am: honest, grounded, and authentic. I write resources like this because I want people to understand that body image pain is not shallow, and it is rarely just about appearance. More often, it is about surviving awful experiences, Complex Trauma, shame, and the ways we learn to cope in a world that teaches us our bodies are projects to fix.
I am a licensed clinical psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist who specializes in body image, complex trauma and eating disorders, and I know this work personally. My perspective is both clinical and lived. I understand what it feels like when your body does not feel like a safe place to live, and I understand the slow, brave work of building safety back. That combination helps me meet clients with compassion, clarity, and real hope.
If you are looking for trauma therapy, eating disorder recovery, or body image support in Orlando, FL, my hope is that this blog helped you feel seen and offered a steadier place to start. You deserve care that feels human, safe, and lasting, and you do not have to figure this out alone.
